Tom Fisher, our Venard, GE, and Bedford classmate died on June 7th 2020 from Covid-19. Frank DeCoster passed on to me his wonderful obituary (attached) written by several of Tom's five children. It's a strong story of a loving and successful father and, for those of us who knew him and respected and admired him, it is worth the read, maybe more than once. He had an absolutely unique life experience that no one else in the class could match.
Tom joined our class as a sophmore at the Venard in 1953, the same year as Ed Cookson, John Harrington and myself. From day one, Tom was the model, ideal seminarian who seemed to know already all the rules the rest of us had to learn. Many times over the years, several of us lesser by-the-rule-book guys would try in vain to get him to break the "Great Silence" or some other crazy rule. He was a very likable, friendly, solid and bright happy guy and was always among the top of the class academically. But, it was hard to tell whether he was naturally smart or his success was due to a diligent, disciplined and tranquil personality. He always worked hard, not like some of our bright classmates (who shall remain un-named) who seemed to just breeze through everything.
At the end of our sophmore year or the beginning of our junior year, Tom casually mentioned to us that his mother joined a contemplative, cloistered order of nuns.
Tom was about 15 or 16 when his mother joined - would you believe? - the Daughters of the Paraclete. They were set up by the same diocesan priest who set up the Holy Spirit House in New Mexico for "problematic priests" with alcohol, drugs and pedophilia issues. Their mission was to pray for and attend to these guys.
I don't think our young minds were capable of processing such a unique event. Tom's father had died when Tom was about 12. All of a sudden, we saw Tom as an orphan with no home to go to for Christmas and summer vacations. The only thing we could think to ask was where he would go for vacations. He just said he had relatives. And that was that. Discussion over. I don't recall him telling us anything about people and places where he spent vacations. Maybe we didn't ask. Perhaps some of you with better memories of those days can fill us in.
That seemed to be the status of things with Tom until our sophmore year at G.E. when Frank DeCoster joined our class after one year at the Venard as a Special Latin student. The Deek somehow took Tom under his big wing and got his marvelous and generous parents to agree to bring Tom to their New Jersey home for vacations. It was the beginning of Tom's life-long relationship with Frank's parents and seven siblings, many of whom got to know Tom over the years better than Frank did!!
All of this is just background. Fast forward to our weird novitiate year in Bedford in 1960-61: To the surprise and shock of all of us, Tom, our model classmate and the most likely to complete the program, decides to leave. With no home to go to, Frank arranges for him to live with his family until he gets settled on what to do with the rest of his life. On Tom's way to New Jersey, he stops in New York City to change buses to go to the DeCosters. While waiting, he wonders over to Times Square, sees the U.S. Marine Corps' recruiting trailer and decides to sign up.
The Marines were not too sure that this guy, coming that morning from a monastery and having a degree in philosophy, would make a tough marine. Years later, Tom told me that he tried to convince them that he could be as tough and as mean as any marine. The Marines were not convinced. They said they'd study his application for officer training and would let him know in a month or so.
Frank's six siblings who were still home at the time say they remember Tom running everyday to get in shape for the Marines. This went on for several months until Tom finally received his letter of acceptance to the U.S. Marines' Officer Training Program.
The rest is well covered by the attached obit and wonderful accompanying video
[Click] Tom Fisher Memorial Video (From the obituary - Many pictures of Tom and family)
He met his future wife, Linda, while in flight training at Pensacola Naval Air Station and, true to form, decided very quickly that she's the one and they married after a very brief courtship.
We lost track of Tom over the years. We heard rumors that he was killed in a plane crash or combat action - probably confusion over his crash landing in Vietnam recounted in his obit. He told me about it years later. He lost his hydraulics without telling me how and could not get his landing gear down or release a bomb under his wing. So, he decided to belly-land the F-4B. When he hit the ground, he told me laughingly, the bomb broke loose and bounced down the runway in front of him, the plane came to a stop and the bomb just kept going blowing a hole in the end of runway and taking out another aircraft. Just another day for Tom and 230 plus missions over Vietnam.
When he left the Marines, he wanted to continue instructing pilots but could not make a living at it and support his young family. So he joined Johnson and Johnson where his talent, discipline and persistence were recognized and rewarded.
Tom's daughter, Eileen, is requesting that we send her stories and recollections of her father. She emailed me the following:
"We would be forever grateful if you sent on recollections. As you saw in his obituary, he didn't share much about his past. We would occasionally see his mom, our grandmother, but given her convent was in New Mexico, she didn't make the trip often to NJ. As kids, I don't ever remember asking her to share stories."
Tom and Linda showed up briefly for our 50th Class of '65 reunion at the Knoll in June 2015 but Linda did most of the talking. Eileen tells us why:
"My dad started to show signs of dementia 10+ years ago. Perhaps it was from all the G-forces he experienced as a pilot? We will never know. I will say that while he was at Chatham Hills Subacute Care Center, starting in March 2019, he was healthier than he had been in the previous decade because of the medical staff there. He was able to care for himself and move around freely in a wheelchair. He was always easy company - happy to see us, funny, kind, and game to go anywhere, especially mass. To be around my dad, the worries of the world melted away, he was fully present and his calm demeanor meant your blood pressure dropped 20 points during visits."
So, fellow Venarders, Glen Ellyn, etc., let's honor Eileen's requests for your recollections and stories about Tom. The rest of us would love to read them too! So, send them to all of us and I'll pass them on to Tom's family.
Tom Fisher
From Pat Murphy: