Hank Kehoe:

    I asked my parents about going to a seminary HS but they thought I
    was too young to make that kind of committment

Ray Voith:

    My Mom had 4 brother that were dominican priests and 3 sisters
    that were dominican nuns - no objections when I wanted to join MKL

Mo Calouro:

    My dad wanted me to wait for college too.

Ray Voith:

    Also no objections when I wanted to leave - i know my Mom agonized
    about whether she should be a nun, so she understood

Mo Calouro:

    Interesting what went into our decisions.

Bob Meadows:

    I forgot about that Ray.  My father was in the seminary for 6
    years and his best friend had been a Maryknoll priest.  My
    grandmother said "if only she could live to receive communion from
    my hand" (a tiny bit of guilt)

Ray Voith:

    I didn't know your father was in seminary

Bob Meadows:

    Yeh, he was in the Baltimore diocese seminary

Ray Voith:

    who was the Maryknoll priest?

Bob Meadows:

    He was father Welty who was in China, but left the priesthood when
    the communists came in...later came back to the us.

    My father wanted to connect with him, but never did.  He had been
    his best friend in h.s.  I think I joined Maryknoll because of him

Ray Voith:

    I think my grandmother (who died before I was born was obsessed
    with getting her kids into religious life

Hank Kehoe:

    Was she irish?

Ray Voith:

    grandma was German

Bob Meadows:

    mine was lebanese

Mo Calouro:

    My sister was a nun.

Mo Calouro:

    My dad talked about his wanting to be in the religious life.

Ray Voith:

    When I was thinking about leaving GE - it was an agonizing
    decision - we were always told we were "cream of the crop" - maybe
    I wasn't worthy or selfish in quiting.  I cried in stairwell
    thinking of leaving

    I had become a "Loner" at GE that year

    I also had a hard time adjusting to the much larger class at GE
    versus Venard.  - I didn't always mix well

Hank Kehoe:

    Ray you always seemed to have your act together

    I felt like I was drifting

Ray Voith:

    It was an act (at least in the last year or so)

Hank Kehoe:

    In soph year we were roommates Ray and I remember you telling me
    that I should stop reading gone with the wind and start studying

Mo Calouro:

    Same here, Ray

    Ray, what was being a loner for you?

Ray Voith:

    Having a hard time going to the rec room and fitting in with
    conversations

Ray Voith:

    I never felt that way at Venard - probably because of smaller
    classes

Mo Calouro:

    I'm thinking

Mo Calouro:

    the Venard was special that way. It was very small.

    I don't know Ray......I do know I felt smaller, less comfortable
    at GE

Ray Voith:

    yes Mo - I agree

Mo Calouro:

    Loneliness was big for me.

Ray Voith:

    Mo - that's surprising to me since you always seemed (and seem) so
    outgoing with others

Bob Meadows:

    I agree with you Ray about Mo.

Bob Meadows:

    I think I numbed myself to what I was feeling.  Fr. Kennedy was a
    big help to me.

Mo Calouro:

    Same here, Bob.

Ray Voith:

    Unfortunately I never got to know Fr Kennedy well (or the other
    guy note Fr D'Arcy?

Bob Meadows:

    Kennedy was the best teacher I had at GE and influenced the
    profession I do today

Ray Voith:

    I think at GE, new students may have felt that we acted "uppity"
    about having been at the Venard, although I don't think I ever
    felt I was any better than then new guys

Mo Calouro:

    Ray, I have heard that reaction from others........yet inside
    there was discomfort, one way to say that was loneliness.

Hank Kehoe:

    When I was a Freshman at GE I didn't know anyone.  But discovered
    quickly that there were about 20 guys that had gone to school
    together

    They seemed to have friends, know things and were insiders

Ray Voith:

    Hank - do you mean they went to school with you?  I wasn't aware
    of that group - who were they?

    RPV added note - I asked this naive question, not making the
    connection to us Venarders.  I guess I didn't think of us
    Venarders as insiders or special.

Mo Calouro:

    Hank are you talking about Venard guys?

Hank Kehoe:

    The group was the folks from the Venard

Ray Voith:

    we are all lonely to some degree - but in a deeper sense, all the
    same - hard to see that when young

Bob Meadows:

    We had about 110 guys that started at GE

Hank Kehoe:

    and to a lesser extent Mt View and Chesterfield

Mo Calouro:

    Thanks Hank, that gives me an insight that I didn't feel before.

Ray Voith:

    Oh - well Duh, - I should have seen that

Ray Voith:

    it was 128

Bob Meadows:

    I think we were all scared.  I was and missed my family, altho
    could hardly feel that.

Hank Kehoe:

    It seemed to me that they had a head start but I didn't feel as
    though they were lording it over us new guys.

Ray Voith:

    I do think that the seminary warning about "particular
    friendships" caused us Venard guys to drift apart somewhat

Bob Meadows:

    I agree with you Ray.  It added fear of doing something wrong.

Mo Calouro:

    Ray, you feel that the Venard guys were cautious because of the
    friendship rule.?

Ray Voith:

    Yes - I think so - plus in reality it is not a good idea for such
    a group to just stick together and not branch out.  Just was
    difficult for me

Mo Calouro:

    That friendship thing was a pain in the ass

Bob Meadows:

    It was the atmosphere.  Men are socialized to be afraid of too
    much closeness, to be tough, not feel plus Irish Catholic
    puritanism.  We were idealistic, mostly kind in some ways, but
    womenly affection wasn't present or talking about feelings.

Bob Meadows:

    Vulnerability or crying or sharing feelings like today wasn't
    encouraged.  The priests didn';t know how to do it.

Hank Kehoe:

    I didn't have any close friends at GE until senior year then got
    closer to a few guys

Bob Meadows:

    Who were you close to in Sr. year, Hank?

Mo Calouro:

    I think you can archive it, save it.

Hank Kehoe:

    Closest to Lynch and Bill Murphy and you Bob

Mo Calouro:

    Makes me wish I could do it again, differently

Bob Meadows:

    I remember when I got to the Venard, I was constipated for 3 days.
    That never happened to me before or really since

Hank Kehoe:

    Sometimes our bodies have to send us messages

Bob Meadows:

    I went to a workshop on trauma, entitled "Your body keeps score".
    It does.

Ray Voith:

    Did any of you make it past novitiate?

Mo Calouro:

    Not me - Left after GE

Hank Kehoe:

    Left Hingham in November

Bob Meadows:

    I left on the Immaculate Conception feastday in December from
    Hingham

Hank Kehoe:

    Just two weeks later!

Bob Meadows:

    I was sad when you guys left.

Mo Calouro:

    Intense times

Bob Meadows:

    what was Hingham like for you Hank?

Hank Kehoe:

    Everything happened so fast

Mo Calouro:

    Yes, agonizing fits the bill.

Ray Voith:

    I heard that Hingham was especially difficult for many

Hank Kehoe:

    Spent so much time alone in my room just thinking

Mo Calouro:

    Lots of quiet time at Hingham?

Bob Meadows:

    I felt I was a quitter and only really seriously thought of
    leaving in the last month in Maryknoll.  Altho a priest at Hingham
    thought I would be a good used car salesman.

Hank Kehoe:

    Guys were leaving.  Couldn't get over the feeling that i wouldn't
    be happy in the celibate life

Mo Calouro:

    Celibacy and loneliness were tough for me.

Hank Kehoe:

    When I went to talk about my feelings, I was out the door.

Bob Meadows:

    I wanted to experience life and told myself that I could try it
    for two years and then perhaps come back

Mo Calouro:

    Hank, please explain that about talking feelings

Ray Voith:

    I heard one priest was especially annoying with the students at
    Hingham

Hank Kehoe:

    Jacobs told me that he had prepared a list of reasons why he
    wanted to leave Hingham before he went to see Cronin but Cronin
    didn't want to hear them just made the arrangements for Bill to
    leave the next day.

Bob Meadows:

    Fr. McCormick was especially tough and I don't think kind.  I had
    a big argument with him one time.

Mo Calouro:

    Bob what was the argument about?

Hank Kehoe:

    Bob do you remember a big debate among the students at Hingham on
    whether we should "have to" go to mass every day?

Bob Meadows:

    I had worked in the South on civil rights that summer before with
    Neary and Casey.  It looked like to me that poeple were struggling
    and some looked sad.  McCormick said that Blacks had rhythm in
    their bones and other stereotypes.  I said that I didn't see
    that. It went on for quite a while

Mo Calouro:

    Hank, can you tell us more about feelings and out the door?

Bob Meadows:

    Hank, I first brought up that question to the student council.  I
    didn't want to be forced to go to Mass.  It dropped however and
    then I think Pete Loan or someone brought it back up.  We argued a
    whole night about it, then voted.  It was tied, then Frank Breen
    broke the tie saying not to bring it up to McCormick.

Hank Kehoe:

    I started to feel that I couldn't be happy as a priest and that
    life as a husband and father was what I really yearned for

Mo Calouro:

    Got that Hank.

Ray Voith:

    So - one thing is clear today that was not so clear back then - we
    all had similar problems

    Having said all these things, going to seminary was a major
    formative thing in my life - away from home, seeing a bigger world
    even though in some ways sheltered)

Mo Calouro:

    Same here, Ray, bigtime.

Bob Meadows:

    It was an experience and I didn't get killed or kill anyone.

Hank Kehoe:

    Definitely, I think there were values established that have lasted
    my entire life

Bob Meadows:

    Did we have Father Dugas teach English also?

Ray Voith:

    yes - Dugie Bird taught English

    I think Fr Halbert also taught English.  He saw sexual references
    in all the great works.

Bob Meadows:

    I remember it was very hard to listen to Dugas and it was boring.
    British Writers was one of my favorite courses.

Hank Kehoe:

    I also remember an assignemnt to read a book something like the
    turn of the screw.  We had 1 hour to read it and 1 hour to write a
    report.  It took me about 4 hours to read it so I had a very short
    report